Self discipline

Self discipline is controlling yourself.

I use self discipline when I stop at one chocolate biscuit. When two would be much nicer.


I also try to use self discipline when the kids are going crazy. I might feel like screaming or hiding in a cupboard, but instead I try to be a reassuring calm Mum who reminds everyone about the rules.

The rules are not always explicit though, like our dinner time rules. I tend to think of the rules as a general code of behaviour that we learn through experience and consequence. Like if you make a big mess then you have to help clean it up or if you hurt someone you say sorry.

But the kids like things to be black and white, spelt out and written in stone. Perhaps it may have been unfair to have this vague notion of "the rules" and "appropriate behaviour"without really working the rules though with the kids and recording them for future reference.

So the other day when I was trudging up the stairs carrying a fully loaded laundry basket and B and Little Miss bombarded me with missiles over the stair banister I drew on my own self discipline to not go mental at them. Instead I had a talk to B, the instigator of the missile attack. I could see his eyes glaze over as I ranted on about the dangers of throwing things at people on stairs, throwing stuff in the house blah blah blah. There was a cheeky smirk in his face,  every fibre of my being was furious. I was totally livid with him.

So what should I do? I think I even asked him that. I could see that talking wasn't working B was in one of those silly moods, he wasn't listening or following any thoughts through. Out of no where I told him to sit on the naughty stool and write out the rules. Little Miss was set to work cleaning up the missile mess.

After some time B presented these rules to me.

And I was really impressed as not only had he included a rule for not throwing and dropping things, but he had also included a rule for not running inside, not jumping on the furniture and no talk back. Much more than I expected.

After another incident where he gave me a lot of lip, his father sent him to the naughty stool to read his own rules. His dad asked him, "So what rule did you mess up on?"
"No talk back" was his response.

B can't argue with his own rules in his own handwriting. He is actually disciplining himself. I hope this is a breakthrough and a means to help B learn some real self discipline. Something we are all learning to draw on throughout our lives whether it be the temptation of another biscuit or a full blown melt down in a cupboard.