Being five

When you are five.........


Singing in the morning is important.

Milky is not cow's milk or rice milk, it's Milo warmed up.

Cuddles in Mummy and Daddy's bed are the only way to start the day.

Wet kisses are yuck.

Rice bubbles that aren't soggy are breakfast.

Fairies are real and help make the seasons change, gardens grow and they make furniture out of all the old teeth.

Cake should only be chocolate flavoured.


Teddies and babies have real feelings, so need to be dressed.

Ballet is grace and beauty.

Mermaids are real, definitely. One was seen in a parade.

Being sick is snot in your mouth.

You show your friends the ribbons in your hair.

At school you can have a carrot for fruit because there is an 'other' list.

Being a carrot in the end of year ballet concert is great as its going to be glittery.

Running is fun.

Crusts should be cut off.

School is serious, homework must be done every night.

Painting is what you want to do or crafting, or sewing, or colouring, or cutting, or folding.

Putting your lunch box in the sink after school is way too much to ask.

Being a Doctor, famous Ballerina or a Kindy teacher is the plan.

Your clothes should match.

Playing is putting all your toys all over the floor where you can see them.

Pasta is best for dinner.

White chocolate is nibbled and licked.

Cuddling something at night is necessary.


Happy Birthday Little Miss

Eight

I can't help but look on my first born's birthday as the day I became a parent. B's birthday is not only a celebration for him, but a huge milestone in my life too.

I never thought I would have a son who is eight. When I first held my new born son in my arms eight years ago I was so relieved. Relieved that the labour was over, relieved he had all the right bits in the right places and relieved to put all that IVF process behind us. Finally I was a Mum at last with my real live baby in my arms.

Little did I know. That shoulder dropping relief didn't last long at all. Within 2 hours of his birth baby B started to struggle to breathe, instead he made a grunty noise that worried the midwife. So B was taken away from me and examined. Next thing we knew he was in intensive care and a machine was breathing for him.

I was left empty and without my baby B in my arms.

The next 48 hours are a bit of a blur. My pure new baby was now in the hands of strangers. He lay connected to machines that bleeped. Tubes came out of him and wires and tape were stuck all over him. I couldn't see his face properly for the ventilation tube. All the time I was thinking,
"After all that IVF we went through, how can this be happening to us?"
I wondered if I was ever really meant to be a Mum.

Doctors talked about brain scans and infections. Baby B developed a very high temperature. X-rays revealed mucus in his lungs and the brain scan showed swelling. They thought he got distressed during the birth. He was given various types of antibiotics intravenously, plus a paralysing drug to stop him fighting the ventilator. All the time he was inside me I hadn't had one drop of alcohol or even one paracetamol tablet.

Then he improved and breathed for himself. He came away from Intensive care and went into the special care unit. I got to hold him for little bits. I changed his nappy and saw his body for the first time. Thankfully he kept improving. We fed baby B via a tube. I expressed my milk for him then syringed it up his nose via the tube. I never imagined doing that to a baby. He kept improving and I got to attempt breastfeeding with baby B in my arms at last. But he didn't want to suck. With midwives looking on and coaching, B and I slowly learned to breastfeed. Days seemed like weeks, but eventually baby B left the special care unit and roomed in with me. Over the course of seven days we went to hell and back but finally he got the hang of being a baby and I really did get to be his Mum.

That shaky start to parenting has been the worst thing we have ever been through. Thankfully B has been quite drama free since his first week of life. A paediatrician did say to us,
"This is probably the most stress this child will cause you throughout your life."
And he has been right so far. B has been comparatively easy since then.


So happy Birthday my dear B. As we travel our journey together as mother and son I can't help but be so proud of you. Not only have you beaten all the odds of IVF and a dodgy birth, but you have grown up over the last eight years into a spunky kid who knows his own mind. An eight year old mind that is developing fast and shows so much promise. You delight all who meet you. I feel so lucky to be your Mum, eight years ago you gave me the best purpose in the world. I love you so so very much.

Heart themed party

For her fourth birthday celebration Little Miss thought heart decorations would be nice. Since we plan on taking the kids to the show this year we didn't plan on having a big party, but that didn't stop Little Miss from having some big plans for her party decorations.

We agreed on pink, green and red as colours for the party since I had plenty of craft material in those colours. I initially just thought about cutting out hearts and stringing them up, but the internet provided so much inspiration and B and Little Miss were so eager to help that our decoration plans got a bit more extravagant. She wanted lots of hearts, big and small ones, all over the house and everywhere.

I found this great origami heart instructional video.

Since it was a child teaching the technique I got B making hearts for me and he did a great job.


We made hanging hearts by sewing the orgami hearts together with ribbon and weighted them down with a wooden bead.

Little Miss coloured in the paper and cut out strips so I could staple these hearts together to make a chain of hearts.



To make a garland I cut out red felt hearts and sewed them with green origami hearts and strung it up over the table. The origami hearts looked so good I also folded the table napkins into hearts as well.

Add some helium balloons, food, lots of lollies, birthday cake and family and you've got yourself a party.

Four

According to Little Miss turning four means you are a big girl.

Today that important change is occurring. I can no longer call Little Miss a little girl. She is a big brave bold four year old. Lets take a look at what she is really into right now.

Little Miss loves to dance and has a very keen ear for music. Ballet lessons are really enjoyed and we consider her to be the absolute best dancer in the class.

She loves to sing away to herself and her dolls. Little Miss can remember a song when she has heard it only once. If she has trouble getting to sleep at night, she can often be heard singing a quiet lullaby to herself. When this happens I am most pleased and very moved.

Pink, purple and rainbow are Little Miss's favourite colours. Lasagne and chocolate are her favourite foods. Lollies are not really enjoyed, but chocolate, particularly white chocolate is devoured and desired at any time.

We often enjoy a visit to a cafe and Little Miss likes to have a bubbachinno with a pink marshmallow. If ordering food "Pasta" is always chosen and very well eaten up.

Little Miss believes that fairies are real. Being real is important to her right now and I am often asked if the Wiggles, Little pony, monsters, bed bugs or unicorns are real. I can't help but get philosophical with my answers stating that if she thinks they are real then they might be, but B dosent like to think that fairies are real, unless its the tooth fairy with some money for him.

Little Miss really loves her brother. She looks up to B like no one else. B is the master of all wonders for Little Miss, he is by far her most favourite play thing. Not a day goes by when I don't hear Little Miss say "Where is Blakey? I need my Blakey."

Barbie has become a new friend to Little Miss and I hope this strong sexy female will be a good role model for my daughter. I have to admit I bought her a Doctor Barbie for her birthday, but her dress is still very short and her shoes are most uncomfortable looking.

Little Miss loves to draw. She can draw all kinds of animals and they are recognisable species. Her artistic skills may have been overshadowed in the past, by her big brother. However she is really coming into her own now and she seems most pleased with herself.

If Little Miss should get upset for any reason (but mostly as I have asked her to pack up a mess) her tears and general unhappiness can be cured by a cuddle. The cuddle cure is often needed at the most inappropriate times, like when the mess needs to be dealt with, but I am more than happy to cuddle a big girl and I hope that my cuddles will be effective for a long time yet as they also do me the world of good. At bedtime she must have "something to cuddle" and she usually picks a pink fluffy toy of some type, but she does not have a particular toy, preferring to spread the love.

Being four to Little Miss means that she will no longer have a milky at night time. A milk before bed has been a lifetime tradition for her in one shape or another from boob, bottle to sippy cup, so it is a momentous occasion for her to let go of this habit, showing great determination to grow up.

For four very short years we have been so blessed to have Little Miss as part of our family. Everyday she delights us with her antics. When I look at my big girl I can't believe that I helped create this wondrous person. It is a joy to watch her grow up and share these precious childhood days with her.

Happy 4th Birthday Little Miss.

Seven

When you turn seven aparently you need to have a spaceship birthday cake. It needs to be the Liberator from Blakes 7 (for obvious reasons if you know us and the 1970s BBC Sci Fi series) and it needs to be 3D chocolate. Of course.

We pulled off something resembling all of that to the best of our ability, because we are amazing parents, but unfortunately I cant show you a photo.... so here is a picture of the real Liberator.

Impressive machine yes? Now just imagine that as a cake and you get the idea.

I cant show you a photo because B didn't have a birthday party. He had the family around to eat the Liberator cake, but that was not a party. There were no party games, no party decorations or party loot bags - so it wasn't a party. He didn't have a party because his behaviour over a number of weeks (school holidays) wasn't appropriate. It seems when you are nearly seven you might think it is okay to lie about lots of things, hit and spit on your sister and do lots of talk back showing little if no respect to the parents who bought you into this world.

But he did get presents, we are not that cruel. And when you are seven your favourite birthday presents are Lego (no changes there) electronic devices and things you can fiddle with, like a model making kit, pin art, moneybox maze, solar powered car, and plaster block with buried treasure inside to discover. All of these great toys appeal to a seven year old's need to understand how things work and how stuff is put together and whats inside.

Unfortunately when you turn seven your behaviour is much the same as when you were nearly seven, but now Mum and Dad haven't got a birthday party to try and bribe you with, not that that even worked...I am trying to remember that my lovely first born baby boy is inside this seven year old B. A baby that needed his mother so much, but it appears as if there isn't much inside B at all, as he is often announcing,
"I am hungry."
To which I reply, "I am Mummy."

Despite the lack of a birthday party B has been really looking forward to turning seven. I asked him what he liked about being seven and he said,

"It's nice to be seven because you are tall."

Fairy Party

Little Miss's 3rd birthday fairy party was turning into a big event (in her and B's mind) so I embraced the challenge and found my inner fairy. It can be a bit daunting having a party of children to entertain so I got lots of ideas together from the internet and made a silly amount of lists.  I could have done with finding a blog post about what other parents have done for a fairy themed party, so here is a record of what we did.

Fairy names

We made fairy name badges for everyone coming (including adults) using a badge machine. We made up names that in some way suited the person and related to nature. I really enjoyed this activity. Some of the names were Little Petal, Vine Concord, Dame Wren, Juniper Lark, Sprightly Ash, Maple Grace, Amber Star, Blossom Shine, Brook Birch, Basil Sage, Nimble Stem and Moon Bramble. If you want to know what your fairy name is click here.

Things to do

I thought a craft activity would be a good thing to keep the kids and their parents occupied for a while so I found and prepared a fairy craft, adapting one for a Christmas tree angel. While this was tricky sticking for some of the younger children it did get their Mums occupied and chatting together around our dining room table.

For the two boys at the party I adapted the craft to be a monster.

Having your face painted was also another activity for the kids. My sister did this for me and even though she felt a little rusty (her children are now adults) the children happily became flowers, butterflies and tigers.

We also set up the house and garden so that little people exploring could find safe activities to do. There was chalk in the driveway for pavement art, cars and roads set up in B's room (for boys only) and fairy dress ups in Little Miss's room. All of these activities were played with by different children at one point or another.

Games to play

Party games were a must, but I have really gone off pass the parcel. It's easy to prepare, but I find the kids get bored waiting for their turn and in my day there was only ever one major prize. At one of B's parties I heard a little boy say, "OK, I've got my chocolate frog lets go now." I was not brave enough to prepare a pass the parcel with no teaser prizes so I just avoided it altogether. Instead I went for a fairy garden treasure hunt. Because the children were aged between 2 to 7 I made it as easy as possible. I hid five bright blue flower pots around the garden, with the fairy treasure inside. I gave the children strict instructions to only take one item out of each flowerpot then move along. It worked a treat. I had little bottles of mini bubble mix, fairy wands for girls and spiral drinking straws for boys, chocolate frogs, bracelets for girls and toy rockets for boys, hair accessories for girls and action figures for boys. I also gave them a simple paper bag to collect their loot in. Blowing their bubbles then became a game outside as the treasure hunt finished. 

We also played pin the wings on the fairy. I drew a fairy on a huge sheet of paper and coloured her in with Little Miss's help. I marked an x on her back to show where to aim for. We used doilies cut into a wing shape for her wings, using bluetac to make them stick. I also wrote each child's name the wings and I used a butterfly tea towel as a blind fold.  We found we needed to spin around the older children otherwise it was too easy for them. The child with the wings closest to the X, won a puzzle.

Food to eat
The party was in the afternoon after lunch  (2 - 4pm) so I kept the food to simple finger food. We had little pies, pasties and sausage rolls, fairy bread, which disappeared like magic, lots of cup cakes, a fruit platter, baby cinnos (see here) and a Teddies in bed (see here). The adults had different food, but to make it easy on myself I bought a sushi platter, did a cheese plate, offered a selection of dips and had chips, nuts and bread sticks. I kept drinks to water or fruit juice, except for the adults who had a full choice of alcoholic and non alcoholic bevies. (Hey, we need it.)



















For the birthday cake Little Miss wanted a pink fairy cake with wings. Seeing as my husband did so well with a Pirate cake for B, this was deemed his area of responsibility. The fairy is carved out a store bought rectangular sponge. Instead of candles the fairy held three sparklers as her magic wand. She is not the prettiest fairy around but the husband did very well at meeting his little girls wish list. Pink Fairy cake with wings - check!

Decorations
We had big plans for decorating the house, but in the end just had helium balloons that we collected on the morning of the party. This was much to the delight of B and Little Miss as the car was filled to bursting with balloons. Helium balloons are really expensive, I was really shocked, but each child got to take a balloon home and they proved to be a fantastic toy that everyone played with (adults included). One little girl after several attempts managed to float a gift bag with several balloons tied to the handles.




Party Bags
No party is complete without a lolly bag. I made a simple cone shape with a doily stapling the bottom point up into a fold so no loot would fall out and filled it with stickers, badges that B made, chocolates and pink musk sticks.

Parties at home really are a lot of work preparing and cleaning up, but when Little Miss said to me, "I had a lovely party with zillions of people." It all seemed very worthwhile. Thank you to everyone who came and gave Little Miss a very Happy Birthday.

Birthday Girl

Dear Little Miss,

You recently celebrated your 3rd Birthday. There's no denying it now, you are no longer my little baby, but my little girl, a perfect little miss. I can't believe we have already had three years with you. Time has moved so fast. I don't really remember life before you. It is true to say you have made my life complete. I feel so lucky to have you and B in my life. The days when I thought I would never have children are long gone, yet seem to be etched into every decision I make as a mother. I so love being your Mum. I want to give you a wonderful childhood.

I feel so proud of every thing you do. My perfect little daughter you are such a joy. I love the way you bop to any type of music you hear, chat away to yourself with amazing imaginary games and sing so many songs. Your memory is amazing for songs. I only have to sing a song once and you have memorised most of it. There is nothing better than hearing you sing a song out aloud to yourself, just for the fun of it. Well that's not entirely true, the best thing in the world is your kisses and hugs. You are not frivolous with your affections and you are very particular about cleanliness. Dirty kisses are a big NO NO, but clean kisses, that leave no residue are allowed. I long for your affections and eat them up when you give them to me, cherishing every second. I love it how you hold my hand, your little fingers curling tight with determination around my hand, giving me every reason in the world to do the best I can for you.

Happy Birthday my little girl, you make me so proud.

Love always

Mummy
xxx

One fine day....

Recently my husband and I had our birthday. We share the same birthday so it makes for a special occasional. Last year we got married, so this year we thought a more low key private thing would do. With the kids taken care of we went out to lunch.

We had this view

Shared this slow roasted tomato tart for entree

Drank plenty of fluids

I had Whiting with Scallops for main

My husband enjoyed the Gnocchi

We shared this baby rocket and pear salad on the side

Then he finished off with this rhubarb crumble

And I with this chocolate pudding

Then we took a walk through this

and found this.

What a fine way to spend our birthday.
Thank you husband it was one very very fine day.

Great Expectations

“Is it my birthday yet?” B asks each and every morning

“No, not yet. Lets mark the date on your calendar and you can cross of each day.” I come up with a mechanism for him to measure the time and stop him hassling me every day.

As we get close, only a week to go. B seems to be bubbling over with excitement. We have to talk at the dinner table every night about the plans for his party.

“How was your day B?” We ask him.

“Good, can we talk about my party?”

“It’s at a gym, with foam pits to jump in, big trampolines to jump on, huge foam mats to tumble on, balance beams to walk across and a basket ball court to play ball games on.” I say.

“Will there be a cake?” He inquires.

Oh my God, I forgot about the birthday cake, a week away it’s too late to order a custom one, I hope he just wants an ice cream cake. I try to hide my mistake and just ask him,

“Yes, you can have an ice-cream cake?"

“I would like a pirate ship cake” he states

“The gym place does ice cream cakes, you don’t want one of those?” I ask hopefully.

“No, a chocolate pirate ship cake with cannons” B says.

Before it gets too elaborate I stop asking. But I am thinking, what the hell!

The next afternoon after school I look on the internet with B at Pirate ship cake pictures. Dad takes and interest and we come up with a simple plan. A slab of chocolate cake will be bought and cut into a rectangle and triangle, to make a basic boat shape. Sails cut from paper will be added and attached to satay sticks. I feel myself get slightly anxious at the thought of this, but Dad promises to help. It will all be fine. I say to myself.

B has invited 15 friends. He was particular about who he chose, they had to be people he talked with or played with. I was surprised he didn’t want to invite the entire class. The RSVPs start rolling in. B’s excitement is growing. He is finding it hard to sleep through the night. He wakes up and wanders into our room and asks,

“Is it my birthday yet?”

After nights of interrupted sleep, on the eve of his birthday he gets up at 2am, and at 4am. We are not amused.

At last the big day arrives. But we are exhausted. Our anger at being woken up at night by an excited child is hard to hide. We go out for breakfast and B unwraps his presents with energy. We eat and drink lots of coffee. B’s mood settles, he has lots to look forward to today. However with a full belly (jam and multiple croissants) B takes a seat on his older cousin’s lap and just about nods off to sleep. This is in the middle of a really noisy busy restaurant at 10am. We can’t believe it. His day is finally here and he goes very quiet and rests! All those great expectations.

At home we make him take a real nap when Little Miss goes for one, and he obliges. A new child awakes, a lovely 6 year old who doesn’t cry at the drop of a hat, scream out for no reason or throw his new toys across the room in frustration. This 6 year old is keen to help, listens carefully and is eager to rise to the expectations of a six year old boy.

The time has come to construct the cake, it has been cut, wrapped in cling film and frozen so it’s easier to ice. Surprisingly, Dad met the cake challenge face on and with a sharp knife, cut what can only be described as a sculptural masterpiece of a ship, all from what was a simple slab of cake.

A ship book is retrieved to check and compare how real ships look. Our pirate ship cake has three decks, and balustrades. We start gluing it all together with icing. The kids watch on in anticipation and get to taste the icing. It soon becomes apparent this is a one person job, I am elbowed out of the way as Dad takes over.

Little pieces of chocolate are sliced up to finish off the balustrades. Fruchocs are glued on the deck as cannon balls. Cadbury caramellos are positioned as cannons. Elaborate weathered black sails are cut and erected into position. The deck is lined with its wooden planks and the wooden sides of the boat are marked out with a fork. Who would have thought that Dad could do this? I state my surprise and he confidently says, ”You can do anything if you put your mind to it.” I love realising there are still surprises in someone I’ve known for 20 years.

We and the cake set sail for the party. The gym party gets everyone jumping, all the kids just love throwing themselves into the foam pit from a trampoline or a diving board. They jump so high on the huge trampolines their little legs are like springs. Parents watch on with worry. The lights are turned off so they can play hide and seek in the dark. What was a room filled with crazy running and jumping children turns into a silent and empty space.

The last child is found wedged in between a mat and a wall. Game over, lights on, music off, it’s time to eat cake in the party room. Everyone wants a drink and they want it now. The Candles are lit, the cake makes it’s entrance.

“Wow” the people say.

“My Dad is a master cake maker” Says B.

Happy Birthday to you we sing. Then we all eat the cake.

Later that night I ask B,

“What did you think of your Birthday?”

“It was too good Mum.”

Happy 40th Birthday

I celebrated my 40th Birthday by getting married. It was a magical day and I felt like a princess all day long. Of course those of you who are married know that a wedding day only lasts a day, and when you are having a fantastic day, it is simply not long enough. I didn’t want the day to end. It was all as it should be. I felt totally beautiful and in love. Now I am not going to get too sloppy on you. The groom and I have been together for 19 years, we have two children, we have done the hard yards, so to speak. A year of those 19 where spent apart. We knew each other were going to turn up, we know the best and worst of each other.

Why did we wait this long? I am not really sure, it wasn’t because we couldn’t afford it, nor because we didn’t believe in it. We both wanted it, but without religion maybe we needed some other justification since we had basically been living as if we were married for this long. A 40th birthday wedding was just an idea, a cover up for the hard face of getting old. However we are lucky to share the same birth date, so as his 38th and my 40th this wedding was to be a simple birthday celebration.

Still the night before I tossed and turned in bed all night worrying over the smallest detail, panicking about what the kids would do during the ceremony. It was all planned to be simple, relaxed and kid friendly with around a fifth of the guests being children under five.

I wasn’t worried at all up till now, but my heart was racing and my mind ticking over like I was on a huge caffeine hit. I literally got no sleep at all. How long the night really is. I lay listening to our 5 year old son breathing heavily and our 20 month old daughter suck unconsciously on her dummy. I meditated, counted sheep, and tried to deeply relax.

The men of my family who went to the bucks night came home noisily and I thought of my groom, hoping he would be in his bed asleep, and not chained to the jetty naked as they had teased. But I knew he would be fine, the day would be fine, still sleep never washed over me.

Eventually I got the house up, the sun was just rising. I showered before the kids woke up then disturbed my sister, she hadn’t slept either. That made me feel better. She was going to feel as bad as me today. But honestly I found I wasn’t feeling bad, I was so excited, my stomach buzzed, my throat was blocked by a huge lump of anticipation. Weddings are so fun for all the build up and planning. Living in the future as always, I was already worried about what I was going to do afterwards, what would occupy me when the wedding was over?

I didn’t pack appropriate clothing to wear for the wedding preparations of hair and makeup so I put my pyjamas’ on again. This wasn’t pleasant as I had just spent a sweaty sleepless night in them. I sprayed extra perfume on and didn’t worry about it. I was eager to get my hair done, my step niece was doing this task for me. As a 17 year old she did her hair first saying she would be 20 minutes. There was plenty of time. It was only 7am and the wedding was at 11am. So I tired to calm myself and see when my sister in-law would be ready to do my makeup. She took total control and was putting on my foundation within minutes. Yes, it was happening.


My sister had the huge task of flowers. We had done a practise run and made a posy bouquet and button holes before, messing around with florist wire and tape. I knew she would be fine, but she herself didn’t know this and looked panicked, she left my bouquet till last. Our Dad eventually got involved and after two attempts presented me with a beautiful arrangement.

Having my family fuss over me, and totally focus on this event was an amazing experience. It made me feel so damn loved. So lucky, so accepted and needed as part of the family. Belonging and being loved unconditionally by them. My nephew did so much for us, setting up the garden with my brother, being bar man and packing it away again. My brother in law did more than just deliver our son to the groom, he found the missing socks eventually after various trips between the houses, helped get him dressed and reassured the groom of his nerves. Everyone it seemed did something, delivered chairs, videoed the ceremony, travelled from afar, made cup cakes, make-up, flowers, hair, took photos, carried presents, toasted our health, retrieved wine, took care of the kids, played music, gave us drinks. Its an amazing experience to have everyone you love focus on you as a couple. It should have been enough to just have spoken out privately about our love for each other, but it was so much more to have all your friends and family do the same for you too.

The ceremony went with out a hitch, I walked on air into that garden. Our daughter held onto her posy and didn’t chuck it away. [Later I noticed her eating it] Our children sat beside each other in front of us. Perfect, our son lent in and kissed our daughter several times. She played with her dressed sprawled around her. They were perfect, nothing rehearsed all behaving just as they should. Our son presented the rings on cue. The celebrant made the only mistake and asked me to make the groom my wife as I wed him with the ring. We all laughed. I thought it was perfect that it was him messing up and not us.

After 19 years does getting married actually change anything? Yes, with a doubt. That public declaration of love to one another is powerful. It gives you confidence. Everyone you care about has seen it, that makes it valuable, real, and tangible. It makes what you feel, something people have seen. The act of getting married is a declaration of love, open public and out there. Your witnesses make it more real, than what you just feel. You then gain a husband, someone bound to you rather than just hanging around you. You’re together on the path, rather than just being on paths next to one another. Now we have our marriage to consider. The bond we have, the promises we have to keep. It turned out that we gave the gift of marriage to one another that birthday and it was absolutely awesome.


Best present ever.