The dinner time table has been getting our of hand.
It seems like recently every meal time I am stressed, shouting and nearly ready to walk out the door.
What on earth is going on!!
The kids say they are hungry at 5pm and when dinner is ready at 6pm they struggle to eat it and they haven't had anything to eat since 3.30pm. I can't understand it. Are they so hungry they aren't hungry anymore? They take nearly 45 minutes then to eat and pick at their food, moving it around the plate like it's on holiday. Little Miss likes to leave the table at least three or four times, forgetting that she should be eating and B seems to find endless amusement in a pen, paperclip or rubber band that happens to be on the table to play with, instead of concentrating on his dinner. Little Miss forgets to use a fork and thinks its okay to use her fingers and B will throw anything he thinks is "disgusting" off his plate onto Little Miss's. But one of the most frustrating things is that once B is finally tucked up in bed he creeps up stairs to announce, "I'm hungry." Let me tell you his declaration is not received very well.
I have always believed that we should eat together every night as a family. It may be wrong, but I also use bribery to encourage my kids to eat their greens. They get a sweet treat, like a banana lolly or chocolate frog, if they eat some of everything on their plates. We also frequently take our kids to cafes so they 'get' the whole table manners thing. And I try to make food fun with silly food faces. But with this kind of carry on I'm considering making two meals each night so that my husband and I can actually enjoy a meal.
Out of sheer frustration I decided we should have some explicit rules for dinner time. I asked the kids what they thought the rules should be and I was completely shocked by their answers.
1. No throwing food
2. No kicking under the table (people or table)
3. No shouting at the table or arguing including 'talk back'
4. No rocking on the chairs
5. No leaving table without a reasonable excuse
6. Use cutlery (unless its finger food)
7. Keep food on your plate and eat off your plate
8. No toys or playing at the table
9. No feet on the table
Now they just need to stick to them.
5 comments:
I wonder whether the answer might be to get them to decide well in advance what they want for their main meal. Get them to see you have written their wants down so when meal time comes there can be no "I don't like that anymore."
In addition you could, a few minutes before the teeth cleaning ritual ask "Is anyone still hungry and give them a last chance for an apple or banana or even a biscuit before bed.
More traumatic would be to remind them of the many hungry children in the world who hadn't eaten at all that day (perhaps with photos?).
Oh I feel your pain CF because Joseph and Charlie's mother expresses your dilemma often. She and her husband have a separate meal after the children have gone to bed (about 7.30pm)for this reason.
Unfortunately I feel it is their way of asserting themselves and seeing how far they can push you.
They will grow out of it and you will forget your suffering!
Keep shining my dear friend!
Peggy xxxxx
I think what you're describing is pretty par for the course for their ages, but I too think it's important for them to eat at the table and learn manners etc.
Perhaps for now two sittings one for them and one for Mum and Dad would work with maybe whole family meals at weekends when there is more time?
Nothing wrong with that kind of bribery either if they try everything on their plate, I think it's a great idea!
If my kids don't make a good go at eating what is served to them, they aren't allowed anything else but fruit, they are both teens now but that has always been the rule.
Peggy is right, they will grow out of it as long as they have your guidance.
You're a great mum!
Oh my goodness, I can so relate!! Dinner time is by far the most difficult time of the day for our family. I think we're all tired and I've recently decided that I'm making one dinner and they can eat it or not. It's just too much since the baby has been born.
And I've definitely used bribery as well. I feel like it's justified since my kids eat their vegetables! : )
By the way, it's wonderful to catch up on your blog. I've been on kind of a blog reading hiatus since Zoe was born but it's nice to see what you've been up to!
take care
Oh dear... that sounds all too familiar! I go through stages of letting it bother me and then just flicking it off. We too always try to have dinner together as a family but at times I question our sanity. Infact last night felt like dinner on "speed" - the kids were major hyper and my head felt like it was going to explode :) As FoxyMoron so wisely said... it's par for the course for their age. I have learnt to relax more over the food thing... at the end of the day if your children are healthy, have plenty of energy and understand what they "should" be doing at the table then you are doing a great job!!
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