Little Miss

Dearest Little Miss,
When you were born it felt like my finest moment. A baby girl, perfect in every way, ten toes and fingers, perfect little nose and perfect skin though it was a little red, well very red in colour, but the midwife assured me that was a great sign. You looked up at us with big wide dark eyes. You stared at Mummy and Daddy then you did your first poo. (At least the midwife had to deal with that one.)

These first two years with you have been truly remarkable. You amaze me everyday. You have loved a steadfast routine and can tell me what will happen after dinner,
“Bath, milky, bed.” you say.
After childcare we go and pick up your brother, once when daddy had that task, you burst into tears as I pulled into the driveway screaming,
“Brother, brother, get brother Mum.”
You haven’t even turned two yet, but you know what is what and what order it should be done in.
Another amusing quality is putting “y”or “ie” on the end of things that comfort you- Milky, baggie, bickie. This is probably a natural progression from the other things that comfort you like dummy, teddy, baby, story, mummy and daddy.

It took some time for you to get walking, You preferred the commando style of crawling. With a nice slippery floor you actually slid around the house and did a nice job of picking up lots of fluff. This was A) good for your immune system and B) a help with cleaning the floor, but C) not so helpful with the washing, your clothes were disgustingly dirty all down the front.

Up till very recently you have always been a great little eater. All manner of vegetables have been consumed. This has been very helpful to get your brother eating them too. We give you over the top praise for putting a carrot in your mouth and then he says,
“Look, I’m doing it too.”
Thanks for that little miss. I would like to know though, what has happened to that good little eater? Now the eating fuss pot has taken her place. Peas are picked out and thrown away, only to spend the next few hours squashed under my shoes. Strawberries are meet with a NO. Meat is chewed then spat out too. You do like to play with rice, but I think you regard it as a fashion accessory, coating your hair and clothes with the nice sticky grains. You seem to think its bickie time all the time, telling me,
“Mum, bickie cupboard, Mum, Mum bickie”

I can sense that tantrums will be the order of the day with you, distraction has worked for now. In the future though my little one I will be saying “NO” and resisting the urge to give you everything your heart desires. Even though that’s what I really want to do, but its just not what is best for you in the long run. As your mother it is my job to bring you up to be a well rounded reasonable adult, tantrums are not acceptable. Adult tantrums are truly ugly and very shameful. See here if in doubt.

The journey with you so far has been so amazing, you love and adore your brother so much, I never considered that family dynamic when we planned you. You are amazing and I love you so much my little miss.

Love from Mummy
PS I would really like it if you stopped calling me Mum, I prefer Mummy thanks.

NOTE:
In my limited experience I have found that children and eating is all tied up in parental emotions. When you take your tiny baby to a health check she is weighed to make sure you are doing your job properly and feeding her. When she has grown you feel like you are doing well at this parenting game and are successful.

The food types change over those first years, but that emotional tie to feeding and nurturing your child doesn't. When a Mum friend has complained about a child not eating I have said so many times, “They wont starve themselves.”
But that’s the wrong thing to say. Mums have to let go of that emotional connection of success and achievement with what goes into their child’s mouth. Not completely, but little by little as their child grows. We also need to remember that their needs change over time too. Growth spurts mean more food and in the downtime less. Their tastes are still developing too so their likes and dislikes are going to change.

We ultimately have to let go of our children. My wise sister once told me that we don’t own our children they are just on loan to us. (This was also said by Dr James Dobson, he must have met my sister) In our paranoid society we moddle coddle our children with over protection. The sooner we learn to let go little by little the better off they will be, helping them develop into confident and capable adults.

Starting with my emotions, and little Misses eating, I’ve got to take my own advice and chill about the food a bit.

"Children are not guests in our home. They have been loaned to us temporarily for the purpose of loving them and instilling a foundation of values on which their future lives will be built." Dr. James Dobson. - A Dude.