I hate to sound like a stereotypical stay at home Mum.
Or do I?
I mean we, are the ultimate underclass of overworked, under appreciated, work for nothing - not even a thank you, keep carrying on as you are, group of workers. What in God's name is wrong with being a stay at home Mum? Us Mums are the ultimate employees, and ironically we are actually doing a really important job of raising the next generation. Hear me! We are responsible for the next lot of butt wipers, cleaners, shop assistants, nurses, doctors, entrepreneurs, lawyers and rulers that you will have to deal with.
But quite frankly I need to discuss stains and snacks. Well it is the topic of conversation in the school yard. Snacks and stains people, are our greatest challenges. The snacks that must fall into line with school rules, no packaging, no peanut, no sugar, no salt, no additives and the stains that the children bring home with them. What will it be today? I wonder with eagerness as I see B come out the class room. My eye checks him over, oh its some type of texta. Another Mum looks at me and offers me some condolence "The Exit stick will work on that" she offers with sincerity. And I question what the point of my life really is?
For the snack companies that frequent this blog I've compiled a list of the attributes of the ultimate snack food (Yes yes, I know about fruit or brain food as the school has rebranded it, but B still needs some type of snack as well) We need a snack that has;
No allergen
No sugar
No fat
No salt
No guilt
No additives
No artificial colourings
No packaging of any kind
Minimal expense
Robustness so it remains edible after being jump on, or thrown about,
Long shelf life so it can be forgotten about for a day or two in situ
Easily opened not requiring adult intervention
Easily eaten and not leaky, drippy or splashy so as not to cause the next problem - stains.
For real stain removal us Mums need a product that;
Doesn't require a second mortgage to purchase
Is easy to apply
Is timely, not requiring hours of soaking or even several minutes to take effect
And actually removes all traces of -
snot
grass
blood
poo
general garden dirt
food of all kinds
washable paint (apparently)
oil paint
acrylic paint
pen ink
texta ink
mysterious ink
chalk and
sun screen.
Then we can get on and really concentrate on the work of raising decent, healthy, human beings.